Sunday, March 27, 2011

I had a very strange dream last night.

I was in a hotel room with Daniel Craig who happened to be completely naked. I said "Daniel, please put some pants on." We got on a plane. Mr Craig had settled for just wrapping a bedsheet around himself like a muscled adonis. Anyway we ended up on some random Mediterranean island, on a white sand beach. There was a desk and a chair up ahead of us and Judi Dench was there but as per usual was playing the part of M. Mr Craig had taken his bedsheet off because of the heat and she rolled her eyes and said "Bond, please put some pants on." Then I looked into the sea and there was a girl on a surfboard who hadn't noticed a large and rather vicious looking shark swimming underneath her. I yelled "SHARK" and she freaked and started to swim away, at which point I noticed she was half girl, half seal. Anyway the shark was chasing her and I was running next to her on land, telling her to keep going. It was at this point I thought it would be a good idea to find a stick or something so that I could pull her along as she wasn't going fast enough and was only getting slower. Even in my dreams I vastly over-estimate my athletic prowess. I paused the shark/seal girl chase, so they wouldn't go anywhere and tried to climb up a big white brick wall, until I found a dog chained to a post. I unchained the animal, took the lead and went back to the seal girl. I thought for a moment whether it would be better if I were to just shoot the shark, but A, it would be absolutely wrong of me to shoot an animal that was only doing what it was created to do, and B, I didn't have a gun. So I clambered back down the wall with the dog lead and was about to re-start the shark/seal girl chase and save the latter creature when Mr Craig appeared again with no clothes on so I shrugged my shoulders and thought 'sod it'.

Then I woke up.

I don't know what this says about my priorities, or whether it's wise for me to watch a James Bond film before bed. Oh well. Just thought you'd be interested.

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