Sunday, February 26, 2012

Madre and padre came down to Cornwall last week and it was nice to see them. I have to say, I was struck on a number of occasions by how much more comfortable I was seeing them on what I suppose I could call 'my terms'. It's not that I don't enjoy coming home (the cats, the Xbox and home cooked meals are always a bonus) but I struggled quite a bit at Christmas with feeling like I was either in the way or like my way of doing things was wrong.

I never really got the phrase 'to fly the nest', but I guess I've done just that. I'm very aware that I am doing things by myself. A year ago if you'd told me I'd be where I am now I wouldn't have believed you. Like every other student I now cook when I want, sleep when and until I want, go where I want, see who I want etc. without the limitations. And it's nice.

I like going home and seeing everyone but frankly I'm not sure I'm 100% looking forward to coming back for Easter. It sounds like an insult, honestly I don't mean it to be, but I start to feel pressured at home in a way I don't here. At home I tend to feel guilty if I sleep past anything like 8:30am and if I don't do anything 'chore' wise around the house and still if I go out and see my friends. I don't know what it is. Well I do, but we won't go there. It's very complicated. I know I'm not the only person who feels like this. I guess I'm coming to terms with the fact I am my own person and I can do things when I want; it's just I can't be like that at home because stupidly it makes me feel bad about myself.

I'm looking forward to being back in my bed and cuddling my beautiful Dark Star who I miss more than I can say and seeing mum and dad and hopefully some chums too though I don't know when everyone's back. I'm also looking forward to going to Carlisle for a week, that should be nice. I'm going to try and get as many shifts at work as I can get my hands on as I need geld.


In other news I got a 1st on my Writing For Media portfolio (which is my favourite module i.e. the practical news writing one) and a 2.1 on my first essay (still waiting on the result of the second). I'm on 60 words a minute in shorthand which is full marks with regards to the exam (set for the first week back after Easter) and the teacher wants to push me and two other guys up to 70. The women's football team have a friendly against Bodmin on the 18th and I absolutely intend to go for the captaincy. I'll probably be playing (as I was told at training on Thursday) up front in the David Villa position with the coach (who is playing too) in the Fernando Torres position behind me. I'm hungry for a goal.

That's a lot of brackets.

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